


All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now

by constant_new_lows



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Angst and Romance, Best Friends, Bonding, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Neglect, Crying, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Family Secrets, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Forbidden, Forbidden Love, Forgetting, Forgiveness, Forgotten Ones, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Ghosts, Healing, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kinda, Letters, Lies, Love Letters, Luke and Alex Spying, M/M, Men Crying, Neglect, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Possibly Unrequited Love, References to Depression, Reggie Peters Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Requited Unrequited Love, Romance, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sharing a Bed, Slow Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Teen Romance, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Temporary Character Death, Tragic Romance, Tropes, Underage Kissing, Understanding, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, and fluff, basically angst, but not really, but not really yknow?, forget, forgotten, remembered, romantic, sharing is caring, too romantic, you know, youll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28627464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constant_new_lows/pseuds/constant_new_lows
Summary: [Title from "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna]Ever since he and the other boys had first stormed into the Wilson household, Reggie has kept coming back to see Bobby. For the most part, that's all he's done. Watched. Until it wasn't.Or, Reggie goes back to Bobby's house without the boys and watches, remembering who they used to be. He starts writing him notes and understand each other for the first time in a long time, maybe ever.I really liked this idea and had more planned but i got impatient/bored writing it after such a long break from starting it, so it wasnt executed as well as id like or planned--that being said, if anyone else would like to try this idea please let me know so i can read it!
Relationships: Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Reggie Peters
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now

**Author's Note:**

> lol don't know when this is going up because my birthday is the 9th and ive got some projects for school to do but imma just leave this here...  
> also i just rewatched the whole show
> 
> Needed some angsty, fluffy reggie with bobby i guess  
> First time writing in a while and im just tossing out three in a row, apparently XD trying out all kinds of new things too lol (i guess one shots are my strength. took me long enough *roblox oof sound*)
> 
> Anyway, i hope you like it! had no idea what i was gonna write except the trope and something with reg bc why not and then the song helped me think of the rest
> 
> EDIT: I'm finally coming back to this lol. ive been SUPER busy lately and all my free time has been with friends or watching criminal minds :/

Ever since he and the other boys had first stormed into the Wilson household, Reggie has kept coming back to see Bobby. For the most part, that's all he's done. Watched. Until it wasn't.

One day, Reggie was feeling especially sentimental and sad, maybe even a little bit spiteful. So, he had been walking around the _mansion_ for something to maybe move or turn on to mildly inconvenience the other in a way that would be kind of funny. 

Reggie was stopped when he was in Bobby's room, the other man sitting on the edge of his bed and looking a special kind of upset--a grieving look contorting his features into something pitiful. Reggie, as upset with his former friend as he was, could feel his own heart breaking for the grown version of his once trouble-making and close friend. 

His sour mood subsiding as he sympathized, Reggie noticed something in his hands catch the light. Confused, he came over to get a better look, standing directly next to the vegetarian. 

Eyes locking on the stick of metal gently grasped between his fingers, Reggie froze in his place with a shell-shocked expression as his eyes widened and his mouth hung open. In the other's hand, the string looking slightly worn but the metal looking as new as the day he'd died, was Reggie's necklace. The same necklace his dead body had been wearing when he'd died, and the same necklace he'd never thought could be anywhere but where it sat on his ghostly neck everyday since. 

That was what had sprung this all into motion, Reggie wiping a bit at his misty eyes as he went over to the desk and picked up a black pen. 

Hearing the telltale sound of a pen writing, Bobby--he'd been feeling a lot more like Bobby lately, than Trevor--glanced over to his desk only to see his yellow notepad moved to the center with a black pen set atop of it. Confused and a bit cautious, Bobby slowly stood up and made his way over to the desk by the window. 

Now stood over the desk, he moved the pen to the side to see black, sloppy yet neat writing scrawl out, " _You kept it._ " 

Bobby's eyes shot out of his head, head zipping between looking at the notebook and the necklace in his hand. 

Taking a deep breath, he mumbled to himself, "Nope, no, not real. You're imagining this, they aren't back. They died, _he_ died..." Running a hand through his hair, "I need to go see my therapist..."

After that, he quickly left the room with his sunglasses and keys. 

Reggie didn't way anything else for days, after Bobby's initial freak out. 

But, it was inevitable that he try again. This time, however, he tried to be less vague and kind of creepy, like his last note accidentally was. 

On the same note of paper, Reggie wrote, " _I'm real, Bobby. It's me, promise!_ " 

Bobby's response was almost exactly the same, only this time he never left the position of just looking at the paper. The handwriting was so familiar, so distinctive. It looks so ordinary and average, but Bobby had never seen a single other letter written the exact same as Reggie's handwriting. Handwriting he was used to seeing everyday on little notes left in lockers and passed between the two like a sweet, heart-fluttering secret. 

A tear fell down Bobby's face, the man finally picking up the Sharpie and writing the words as he spoke them aloud, "Reggie? What is happening? How are we talking, right now? And was that really you guys, with Julie and the Phantoms?" 

Reggie, while giggling at Bobby's inquisitive nature, felt his heart warm at how enthusiastic and somewhat frantic he was to hear from him. Picking the other marker up, this one red to Bobby's black, wrote out, " _Yeah, it's really me buddy. I'm a ghost! Pretty cool, right? Yeah, that was me and the guys. Julie played our old demo and suddenly we were all back, which is like SUPER crazy! And then a whole bunch of other stuff happened and now we're in a band and we live in the old studio._ " 

Bobby let out a shaky breath, watching the marker move with his very own eyes. 

The wording and everything was all just so _Reggie_. It was hard to believe it could be anything but him, at this point. Which, honestly, just made Bobby think he was losing his mind. 

Steeling himself, he prepared to respond--if this was him going crazy, at least he was able to be happy and talk to someone he'd never thought he'd get to talk to again. "I missed you." Was all he said, the black marks on the paper glaringly bold against the soft yellow of the paper around it. 

The next day, Bobby, who was much more comfortable with the fact that Reggie was definitely writing to him, and completely fine with just believing he was if it turned out he was wrong, wrote first. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Reggie sighed, “ _Why?_ ” 

“For everything. For trying to forget you.” 

There was a long pause, and then, “ _ The whole world did. _ ”

A sound caught in Bobby’s throat, hand covering his mouth as a sob racked his body and tears fell over his hand. 

The sound of writing pulls him out of it, drawing his still teary eyes to the notepad. 

“ _ But I forgive you. It’s horrible and bad and all kind of crazy, and you’re not off the hook. You stole ~~my~~ our legacies, and the world forgot me. No one was left to remember me and could care that I was gone except for you, and you took both of those away. I’m hurt and upset and I don’t know if I’ll ever really get why you’d do something like that. But I forgive you, you asshole. _ ” Hesitating a moment, “ _ And I love you. I’ve always loved you, Bobby, and this doesn’t change that.”  _

Bobby cried the rest of the night, necklace clutched in hand as he finally passes out with tear tracks staining his finally calm features. 

  
  


They’ve become very close, over their time writing to each other. Their once-lost bond was reforming, mending with each day they spent together. And that was most days, if Reggie were being honest. 

Bobby loved the company and real conversation that helped him to escape the facade that’d become his life, and Reggie just loved telling Bobby about everything that had happened. Both, since their departure and everything he’d kept to himself before. 

That’s where they were in the conversation, right now. On before. Before they’d died, before the Orpheum and hot dogs, before everything. 

It had started by accident, really. 

Bobby had mentioned something about Reggie’s parents, Reggie had off-handedly pointed out that he’d stopped living with them weeks before their show at the Orpheum was supposed to happen. 

“Wait--what?” Bobby was confused. Reggie had never told him or, as far as he knew, anyone anything about him not living at home. 

“ _ What? _ ” Reggie tried playing it off, acting like what he’d said wasn’t at all of any interest. As if he hadn’t kept that a secret as close to his chest as he could until his untimely death.

“You never told me you weren’t living at home. And for so  _ long _ … Why’d you move out?” He tried to keep the edge out of his tone, not sure himself if it was hurt from never knowing or bitterness or worry. 

There was a long silence, the red marker Reggie had been using making no move to write. 

“Reg.”

Reggie ran a rough hand through either side of his hair before roughly picking up the marker and writing out a messy, “ _ I had to leave. _ ”

“Why? You never mentioned anything going on at home, before.” 

“ _ Yeah, well, I didn’t want to. _ ” Even through writing, Reggie could feel the defensiveness in his own statement. 

Bobby sighed, scratching the back of his neck. He couldn’t pinpoint a single time toward the end where Reggie seemed any less happy or okay than usual. “You seemed  _ fine _ … I don’t understand.” 

Another beat passed. 

Reggie let out a defeated breath, plopping down on the edge of the desk and starting to write out something of a confession. He’d never thought he’d be doing this, telling any of the guys. But, then again, this was different.  _ Easier _ . Writing out a message to someone that couldn’t actually see him falling apart in any way, someone he could easily leave without too much guilt if things got hard. It would be different if he tried to tell the others, even if they are dead. 

“ _ I’m pretty good at that. I’ve been pretending for as long as I can remember. I never wanted you guys to worry or anything and I wanted to be the person you guys could always count on. I just kinda wanted to be the person I’ve always needed for you guys so you didn’t have to feel like I did. _ ” 

Bobby’s brow furrowed, fully decided that he was worried, now. “Reg, what are you talking about?” 

The marker moving again, “ _ My parents didn’t just argue _ .”

It took a moment, but the realization dawned of Bobby’s face and he let out a soft sigh, “Oh, Reg… D-did they hurt each other?” 

Another second. 

“ _ Not just each other _ .” 

The shaking breath that left Bobby was enough to make Reggie’s eyes burn. But he kept writing--if he didn’t get it all out now, he never would. 

“ _ They weren’t around much so I was alone a lot, though. It kind of sucked, but at least I didn’t have to deal with them, y’know? That’s why I was always trying to stay at your guys’ places and the studio. Didn’t want to deal. They drank a lot and my mom would smack me around a little, my dad wailed on my here and there. It was usually my fault though, because I always tried to break them up when they got into it or I missed school or something. So before the Orpheum I left and was staying in the studio for a while. I didn’t bring anything with me, though, so I don’t actually have that many pairs of clothes now. It’s kind of funny, I literally lived there and Luke has SO much more clothes there than I do. _ ” 

Bobby only chuckled a little, his voice wavering and a little watery. 

“Shit, Reg…” Wiping a hand down his face, “I can’t believe we were so stupid. Like, this explains so much that I didn’t even think to question! You staying over so much, how you’d limp sometimes, how you were always there for us, and even how you were always just the first one at practice!” 

Reggie shrugged, knowing the other couldn’t see it, a small smile curling his lips. 

“And it was definitely  _ never _ your fault, I hope you know that. Shit, Reg… I am  _ so _ sorry that I never noticed.” A few tears fell down his cheeks and over quivering lips, hand almost immediately wiping them from his flushed skin. 

Reggie’s own eyes were flowing with tears too, now. “Awe, Bobby…” He laughed through the tears, “Ya’ big sweetheart…” His voice was soft as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder without noticing how he was actually able to make contact until he felt Bobby jump and his head frantically look around. 

“H-holy shit, Reg, is that you?!” 

Reggie laughed incredulously, hand tightening its grip on the other’s shoulder, awe-struck, “Y-yeah… Yeah, it’s me, Bobby.” Another tear fell down his face. 

“Can you feel me, or can you just hear me?” 

Shaking his head, “I can just hear you--but oh my god! I can actually  _ hear  _ you, Reg!”

Reggie didn’t make it back to the studio until the sun was coming back up the next morning, a smile brightly adorning his features. 

And if he had a little more of a skip in his step, no one pointed it out. 

A few more weeks passed like this, the newfound ability to actually talk to each other a godsend. 

After that night, they mostly kept conversations light, with the occasional admission to something or another on either side. 

Reggie learned that Bobby wasn’t actually all that much of a ladies’ man, like he’d had others believe--he had been a virgin until he was twenty! Years after they were gone!

When Reggie had asked the reason, Bobby sent him a sad smile. “It took me a really long time to figure that out, actually. Eventually, I realized I didn’t actually like girls as much as I was letting on.” He winked over at the general direction Reggie had said he was. 

Being the idiot that he was, Reggie tilted his head a little in confusion. When he finally realized what Bobby was implying, his mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, “ _ Oh _ ! Oh my god, that makes so much more sense!” He laughed at his friend. 

Bobby played offended, hand to his chest, “What the hell does that mean?” He laughed back. 

“You had a crush on one of the guys, didn’t you? I dunno, it just always felt like there was a weird buzz in the air when you were with us. Not sure who it’d be, though… You weren’t really close with Luke and Alex, you and I were always super tight.” 

Bobby grinned sheepishly, scratching at his temple with his thumb, “Yeah, that’s pretty dead-on…” He let out a sound that sounded dangerously similar to a nervous giggle and Reggie blushed as the sound sent flutters through his chest. 

Again, he didn’t really begin to realize what that might mean until he was already back at the studio, eyes wide and face bright red at the realization that he was a fucking idiot that didn’t deserve the title as the band’s flirt. 

That very next day, it was Reggie’s turn. 

“You know…” He started, completely out of the blue. 

“Hm?” Bobby replied, putting his book down and taking his glasses off to show that he was paying attention. 

Reggie chuckled, “It’s kind of funny.”

When Reggie didn’t elaborate for a minute, Bobby spurred him on, “What is?”

“I don’t think any of the guys in our band turned out straight.” He stated bluntly, giggling at the confused look on Bobby’s face. 

“I mean, you’re like, gay. Alex is completely and utterly gay. Pretty sure Luke is like bi or something we didn’t have a word for in the ‘90s. And I’m bi. So, yeah, I think it’s kind of funny that we all sorta flocked together without even knowing it.” 

Bobby sputtered, gasping a little, “Reggie fucking Peters, did you just come out to me by pointing out that you have literally no straight friends through a joke?” 

Reggie cackled, nodding his head vigorously even though Bobby had no idea, gripping his stomach as he leaned forward with the force of it. 

Bobby couldn’t help but to laugh in response, “Jesus christ, dude! You’re literally the  _ exact _ same, you fuckin’ idiot!”

Reggie laughed infinitely harder, “Y-yeah!”

  
  


Another week or two and everything with Caleb went down. 

Reggie was absolutely wrecked and could barely breathe, he was so worked up. 

The other boys had decided to go to the garage, but he had to do something first. 

He had to say goodbye. 

Stumbling into the familiar bedroom, Reggie clenched his side tightly in his hand. 

Bobby was nowhere to be seen, so he decided on a simple note, hoping that it was enough. 

Picking up his red marker, he brought it to the bottom of the last page they had had to use to speak, writing in dark and shaky writing, “ _ I love you _ .”

  
  


They were okay and it was a total miracle. 

Julie’s love for them brought them back and broke the curse Caleb had given them through the stamp. 

They were going to be okay. 

They were going to be okay, and all Reggie could seem to think about was Bobby. 

Bobby.

So as soon as the group hug was over, he looked to his friends and sniffled, pulling away, “I have to go see someone--I-I’ll be back.” 

He teleported immediately, not even giving them a chance to blink. 

“What was that about?” Julie asked, looking to the other boys for an answer.

Alex and Luke shared a knowing look, “I think we know.” Luke finally spoke. 

Reggie saw Bobby lying in bed, lights off and the note next to him on his nightstand. He probably hadn’t known that was a goodbye, but Reggie was glad to see how much he’d cherished it. 

A bright smile on his face, Reggie laughed a tearful and fond laugh before walking over to the bed. 

Bobby was awoken by the feeling of the bed dipping behind him, the warm feeling of arms wrapping around his middle and legs tangling with his as a chest pressed against his back and hot breath fanning onto him from the nose buried into the back of his neck. 

Surprisingly, he wasn’t at all afraid of the sensation that shouldn’t have felt as comfortable and normal as it did. 

Then Reggie’s soft voice, fearful and loving and sad, whispered in his ear, “Don’t ever forget me…” 

Still groggy from sleep, not even truly away, Bobby thought that all of his was nothing but a dream. 

Still, wanting the contact from the man he’s loved since they were fifteen, and feeling the need to comfort him, Bobby only cuddles against the other closer with a happy sigh before dozing back off.

Luke, Alex and Julie were watching from outside the window. They could hear the whispered words of vulnerability that Reggie only showed to Bobby--always had been Bobby, they’d just never realized he was Reggie’s person. 

Julie, eyes watering like Luke and Alex’s, looked at the other two boys as if wanting more information but not sure if they could provide. 

Eyes still locked on the two bundled together in the bed, Reggie’s fully-clothed form wrapped around the sleeping Bobby, Luke replied, “After we came here to haunt Bobby that one time, Reggie started to just kind of spend time away, I guess. It was normal for Alex to because of Willy, and me because of my parents. Reggie, though, never really left the studio on his own. Never had a reason...”

Alex picked up from where Luke trailed off, “So we just kind of figured he found his parents or something, so we followed him to check it out. But, he came here. Everyday. He started writing notes back and forth with Bobby, after a while. At first, he just kind of watched, like Luke does. But then he and Bobby started writing and worked some shit out, and we found some stuff out about Reg and his parents that we shouldn’t have heard. But we just kind of kept following him, every once in a while. Then one day, Bobby could hear him. Then they just kind of talked about all kinds of things.” 

“Bobby was the only person Reggie could ever talk to, and we didn’t even know it until we started following him here. Reggie loved him. More than we could ever have known.” Luke intersects. 

“He’s the only person that ever made Reggie feel really _ loved _ in the way he needed. When we found out about Bobby betraying us, it was different for Reggie. He didn’t say anything, but it absolutely destroyed him. Yeah, we were pissed and hurt he’d ever do something like that to us, but Reggie seemed like he lost everything when he found out. It was the same look somebody gets when they’re getting broken up with after they were cheated on, or something.” 

“And when Reggie worked out why Bobby did it with him, we looked through the notes because we weren’t here. Reggie wasn’t just upset about the music--hell, it was  _ barely _ about the music at all. He talked about how there was no way for anyone to remember him now and Bobby had even made himself forget about him for a while. Reggie just didn’t want to disappear without a trace. He just wanted someone to  _ care _ .” Luke was fully crying now. 

  
  
  


The next morning, Bobby woke up feeling light in his chest and a weird warmth lingering on the rustled space of blankets next to him on the bed. 

Seeing the notepad turned to a new page and set on the pillow next to him, he picked it up, a bit confused. 

Eyeing the red ink, it read, “ _ You’re the only one who can. _ ” And he could almost hear the voice of Reggie reading it out in his head. 

Finally feeling as if he  _ understood _ , as if he  _ got it _ , Bobby broke down crying in a way that was both relieving and painful at the same time. 

Then the same arms from last night wrap around his sitting form from behind, holding him tight and close in a way that was just  _ so _ the Reggie he knew before everything went to shit. 

Turning around, he set the papers down and wrapped his arms around the man that finally felt  _ solid _ . 

A hand stroking his hair back and soothingly shushing him brought him back to the moment. 

He pulled back, opening his eyes to look at him for the first time since that night. Blinking away the tears, the blurry face cleared into that of the very familiar one of his childhood best friend. 

He laughed, reaching up to touch at the other’s pale face in disbelief. Reggie laughed in response, a tear of his own leaving his lively green eyes. 

Putting a hand behind his neck, the other’s hands still on his face. 

Looking into the other’s eyes that should’ve aged with the rest of him but somehow are the same hazel eyes he’s known since middle school. 

“I love you, Bobby…” He whispered. 

“I love you too, Reggie…” 

Glancing between pink lips and hazel eyes, Reggie slowly leaned forward before finally connecting their lips in a soft kiss. 

They smiled into it, their lips slotting together the way they’d always been meant to. 

The only difference was Bobby’s facial hair, which should’ve affected the kiss more than it did.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope yall liked this! If so, please leave kudos and comment any ideas you might like to see happen in case i get writers block and a l s o like your cool idea! anything with the boys is fair game lol (maybe not willex though cause idk how to write for them)
> 
> Have a nice day! XD  
> \- your epic gay homie al


End file.
